The Importance of Self-Care
Hello, and welcome to today’s episode of Business Foundations for Mums. Today I decided I wanted to talk about self care because I think it’s something that is hugely, hugely important for anyone but particularly for us as mums. Because we have so much to manage so much to deal with. And it’s absolutely essential that we remember to take care of ourselves as well.
So first of all, I’m going to start off by covering the fact that self care, as mums, doesn’t mean that we can’t put our children first in a lot of situations as well, or should we the question put our children first, or ourselves? I hear this discussion quite a lot. I hear a lot of people saying, “well, I can’t take care of myself until I’ve taken care of my children.” And I absolutely agree that our role as a mum is about making sure that our children are taken care of and that quite often their needs are put first before ours. And that we ensure that they are safe, and they have all that they need. And they have all of the love that they can have and all of that stuff. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t take care of ourselves. And it doesn’t mean that taking care of ourselves isn’t an essential part of being able to take care of our children effectively as well.
So it’s not about putting our children before us. It’s not about putting ourselves before our children. It’s about ensuring that both needs are taken care of effectively. And if we’re not taking care of ourselves and we’re not looking after ourselves, we won’t be able to do as good a job of being mums, quite simply. And I think this comes back to the analogy that I’m sure most of you will have heard at some point. If you’ve ever taken a flight you will have heard the security announcement the safety announcement that in the event of an emergency, if you’re travelling with a child, always make sure that you put your own oxygen mask on first before then tending to the needs of your child. If you’re not in a state where you’re able to look after yourself. If you’re not able to function. You can’t help those around you to function and you can’t do what you need to support those around you as well.
I really notice a difference in myself when I have taken time for self care, and when I haven’t, and quite often for me the time that I do set aside for self care is first thing in the morning before the children wake up. And I really notice on those days when I make sure that my self care happens and I get the time to myself that I need and I do my self care actions in the morning that I require. I’m a very different person to when my morning has been rushed. I haven’t found any time for myself. I haven’t made any time for myself, and I haven’t done any self care work at all on myself. And that for me is, is really telling. I notice that my patience levels with my children, in particular, are really, really different. I find that my patience lasts a lot longer and I can carry on without losing my temper for a lot longer with the children, when I’ve had time for self care when I’m feeling replenished when I’m not feeling completely overwhelmed. And exhausted.
So what is self care? Self care can do many things. And self care is different from person to person as well. So self care could be anything from sitting down at the end of the day with a glass of wine and having some time for yourself and chilling out and watching something inane on the television but equally it could be having some time to exercise, it could be going out for a walk in nature, having a run, getting to the gym. It could be taking some time to have a nice relaxing bath. Taking time for yourself. It could be going out with some friends socially. It could be so many different things. Taking time for meditation is a really big one, a really important one. Taking time to sit and process your thoughts with journaling, any of those things are self care depending on if it replenishes you and if it helps you to feel like you are in a better place and self care changes over time as well. I’ve really noticed a few years ago, exercise would be my worst idea of self care. But more recently, I found that I feel it’s something I need to make me feel better. And as such making time for exercise is actually something that’s really important to me.
There’s also a real difference between self care depending on your personality types whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert. An introvert is much more likely to be replenished and refilled and have their energy levels refuelled by spending time on their own doing an activity just for themselves whereas an extrovert will refuel their energy and refill by spending time with others. So doing something social depending on whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert may very well be a form of self care. Self care is not just about the actions we take to make sure that we’re looking after ourselves by taking some time out , but it’s also the actions that we take in our day to day lifestyle as well. So things like making sure that, if it’s something that’s feasible within the stage that your children are at, then getting enough sleep is really really important. Making sure that we have healthy nutritious meals that make us feel refuelled and full of energy and feel good. Making sure that we have regular movements in our days as well. So that again, we feel good, we feel healthy so our bodies feel replenished. And it’s really important that self care is something that becomes a habit as well not just something that we do when we’re already feeling rundown when we’re feeling overwhelmed when we feel like we’re about to hit burnout. It really is something that can prevent those things from coming around if it’s done on a regular basis. So having self care as a habit rather than self care, as the sticking plaster once we’ve already reached that point is a really good way of making sure that we’re looking after ourselves on a regular basis.
With self care it’s really important that we’re intentional about it. It’s not just about waiting for the right time to do some breathing or, you know, I will meditate at some point today when I find five minutes because actually think about the reality of that as a mum, whether you’re running a business or not as a mum, finding five minutes is pretty rare. So to actually make self care happen for you actually have to carve out time for it. You have to plan some time when you can do your self care. You have to make the time for self care. It’s not just about waiting for the right time. And actually, that said, there’s no reason, if you’re waiting for the kettle to boil, you can do some breathing exercises. That’s self care, that will certainly help you just to top up the self care throughout the day. But some actual self care time that’s really going to be effective. You need to make time for that, and it’s not easy, as a busy mum as a busy mum with a business. It’s definitely not easy. And sometimes it means that we might need to sacrifice some other area of our life to make time for that self care. And in that instance, it’s really about weighing up the importance of self care versus the other things that you might be doing.
So for example, I tend to do my self care first thing in the morning. So a few years ago I started getting up at 5am. Initially not for self care purposes, but very quickly that time became about self care for me. So self care is something that I make time for in the morning. I’ve sacrificed some of my morning sleep time, and as such, I’ve sacrificed some of my evening time so that I can go to bed earlier so I can still get my sleep in. But I’ve done that so that I now make sure I have time in the morning to have some time for self care. I have time for meditation. I do a little bit of reading. I make sure that I try and do some journaling. And I also do some exercise in that time as well. And those are the things that really helped me to refuel and make sure that I start my day as I intend to go on. Once those things are done. I can make myself a coffee. I can sit down and just take a few minutes to think about the day ahead to plan my day ahead to make sure I know where I stand and what I’ve got to do. And then I can start cracking on with the tasks that need doing for the day. But for me, having that self care time in the morning is absolutely non negotiable. I say it’s non negotiable. I was really really busy last week, the week that we launched the podcast. We were so super busy with everything that needed to be done that I neglected my self care time. I was still getting up at 5am, but I was cracking on with work straightaway to make sure that I got everything done that needed to be done. And I felt the results of it. By the end of the week I felt absolutely exhausted. I felt complete burnout. I felt totally stressed because I wasn’t taking care of myself and I wasn’t taking care of my own needs. And from this week onwards I am back on the case with making sure that my self care is back in there in the mornings and it is non negotiable again, because I really feel it when I don’t get that time to myself.
The important thing to remember is that if we’re able to look after ourselves and make time for the self care that we need, then this allows us to be the best version of ourselves. It allows us to be the best mum that we can be. And it allows us to be the best that we can be in our business, in our marriage or partnerships, in our families, as a friend. Overall, it allows us to be the best person that we can be for everyone else around us.
Self Care is an act of self love. And what better demonstration is there to show your children the importance of loving and taking care of yourself so that they can learn to love and take care of themselves as well. So every time you think I haven’t got time for self care, because I need to put somebody else first. Just remind yourself the importance of taking care of yourself and making sure that you get self care time.