Kate Butcher
Hello, and welcome to today’s podcast. Today I have Jackie Meek with me. And Jackie is a coach, a coach for women, for mums in particular, frazzled mums, and I’ve known Jackie, for probably about four or five years. And we’ve known each other I think, Jackie. We met originally through some networking groups that we were in, particularly a networking group for mums who are in business, and since then Jackie and I have done some work together. So I’ve been doing some VA work for Jackie over the last couple of years. And we’ve just sort of kept in touch and carried on through that. So Jackie, first of all, before we get started with the the main part of the interview, could you tell us a little bit about yourself and give us an introduction to yourself and what you do from your perspective, and a bit about your business and your family and how it all fits in together?

Jackie Meek
Absolutely, thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to share with your business mums today, Kate, I guess my business came about in 2016. So I’ve been in business for just over seven years now, and my passion is to come alongside frazzled mums to help them to confidently boss the mum juggle. And I feel that my kind of calling has taken me to this actual point in time where I’m really doing what I love. I absolutely love the privilege of having honest conversation with mums, and to see them develop themselves and be empowered to bring about the change they desire. As a mum, I have a 14 year old and a 12 year old, so they’re both at secondary school now, and I live just outside Vista in Chesterton, I’ve been here for about 16 years. My business has developed over the years, and I guess I’ve got sort of three main areas now. So people can work with me on a one to one basis or in my group coaching programme, which is called The Mum Boardroom, or exciting six week online boot camp for mums to help with their positive mental fitness. So that’s a bit about me.

Kate Butcher
Wonderful. Thank you very much. So what was it that made you decide to start your own business in the first place?

Jackie Meek
Yes, well, back in 2014, I had a part time job. And that’s when my youngest child went to primary school. So I had these two incredibly precious days to decide what I wanted to do with. And so I undertook some coaching myself, because I wanted to explore how to use those particular two days. But what actually happened in the coaching sessions was it transformed my relationship with my husband for the better. So every few months in my relationship, I’d be saying to my husband, do you love me? Do you love me? I don’t feel love. And he’d say things like, of course, I love you. I married you, of course, I love you, which didn’t really help. And through the coaching, I was able to really see all the different ways that my husband loves me in his way, in his language, not my own ways that I would prefer, you know, perhaps want to be loved or have love communicated. And that just transformed the way I felt about our relationship. I never felt unloved after that, because it had opened my eyes to all the amazing ways that he does show his love for me. And I just thought there is something so powerful in coaching. And I’d just love to be a part of that. I’m also kind of a person that people share with, so they often talk to me just in my in my personal relationships. So I then explored becoming a coach myself. And I undertook a course in London to train to become a coach and I went on to get qualified with the International Coaching Federation. And while I was on my course, we had to do a role-play at the end of the course to role-play talking about our business and I had this really clear picture about talking to mums in the playground. And that was where my passion kind of started that that was where I want my focus to be. On top of that I have quite a difficult birthing story. So I gave birth to twins very prematurely back in 2008. And unfortunately, we lost our daughter Ella Rae age 19 days old. So that was a particularly difficult time. I then went on to have postnatal depression and postpartum psychosis. So having been through some really difficult challenges as a mum, that fuels my passion even more to use my story, to come alongside mums in all the kind of challenges that they face because no one is immune from from challenges. Everybody has difficulties as a parent, or just in life in general. So it’s really coming alongside mums to help them to face challenges with resilience and confidence and calmness so that they can kind of be their favourite self really. So helping them to show up as their favourite self.

Kate Butcher
Fantastic so I mean, that’s that’s actually a really inspiring story as to why you started the businesses because of the impact that the coaching had had on you had inspired you to, to do something where you felt you could make a change for for other women as well, which is fantastic. And I have to say, I didn’t know that that side of your story about you, you said about how you you felt quite unloved by your husband in the way he expressed it sometimes and went through the coaching and understood more about the ways that he expressed love. And I totally resonate with that whole journey, I’ve had exactly the same scenario with my husband. And it, it really was about learning to understand exactly as you say, the different ways that people express love, it took me a long time to, to get there and a lot of support and coaching, and similarly totally resonate with what you said about being a person that people talk to. That was a big part of the reason why I went and trained as a counsellor a long time ago, because people naturally open up to me and talk to me. And if you can make use of that, and actually really learn to use the tools and the skills to help people. That’s fantastic, isn’t it?

Jackie Meek
Yeah. And I think that the precious thing about coaching is that I’m not telling people what to do, I’m not giving them advice, I’m not giving them suggestions. My job is to ask really good questions, which helps them to discover the best way forward. Because really, we’re the only ones that that really know how to move forward, we just sometimes need help for that. And there’s something about kind of tapping into your true essence. So what, you know, what is going on in your, what is your gut saying, and your heart and your head, not just your head, but thinking about what is really important to you, what are the best next steps for you, and my coaching really touches on all of that, particularly, my work with the positive mental fitness is all about encouraging you to have the right tools so that your mind will serve you more than sabotage you because so often negative self talk just gets in the way, particularly as a business owner, when you’re facing life’s up and downs, it’s never smooth as a business owner. And we need to, you know, be able to tap into our true essence and work out the best way forward. And that’s, you know, part of what I do with my clients.

Kate Butcher
Fantastic. Yeah, that sounds amazing. And similarly, I mean, you talked about some of the struggles that you’ve been through through losing a child and the postnatal depression, and they’re both really, really challenging things. And the fact that you’ve been able to use those experiences to support other mums is, is amazing. I think that’s fantastic. So, yeah.

Jackie Meek
I think there’s, there’s something really precious about turning those challenges for a force for good. You know, if I can just help one mum at a time, you know, to, to do what they need to do, you know, to be able to resolve challenges and respond to things well, instead of just reacting, you know, so often we, we just get our buttons triggered as mums. And you know, looking at how we can just put those pauses in so that we can choose how our true essence wants to react, not just flying, flying off, which you know, is the challenge each day as a mum.

Kate Butcher
Absolutely. And I have to say, as having done some, some VA work for you for a long time as I have, I really enjoy getting a sneak peek of your emails before they go out, but actually just, you know, reading through them and inputting them into the software, so that they go out, gives me the opportunity to really have a good read of your emails. And I would highly recommend anyone who’s listening to sign up to Jackie’s mailing list because there’s always some real gems about exactly what you said there about responding in ways that that actually serve you rather than reacting. I definitely find myself reacting a lot as a parent, rather than sometimes just taking that step back and thinking about what response would be better or, and I think I’m sure all all mums do at some point, but definitely reading the emails that you read it it does give you pause for thought and think actually that there is a different way and a better way to do this. And I’m sure that your, as you said, your your programme that you’re running, your positive mental fitness programme. Tell us a little bit more about that and how that can help women.

Jackie Meek
Yeah, so this has come from a large training organisation called Positive Intelligence based in the US and they’ve created an app which you can download if you go on my Positive Intelligence course. And it’s a six week programme, which is what we’ll call a bootcamp because it’s very intense and it’s a bit like going to the gym. So where you would go to the gym to build muscles. This is about going to the gym to build mental muscles. So it takes you through a number of guided meditations, short meditations that you can do in the car with your eyes open while you’re waiting for your school children while you’re on a walk. So you don’t need to go get your yoga mat out and put your yoga gear on have a gong or anything, you literally can do these short meditations throughout the day. And each of those helps you to build your mental muscles. So if you can think, when we face a challenge, we’re at a crossroads. And at that crossroads, most of the time, we go down what’s called a saboteur route, which is our kind of route that we use frequently. So it may be that we snap at our child, it may be that we get crossed with a boss, it’s maybe that we judge somebody or our circumstances. And that thought goes in a neuro pathway down what like it, what is like a motorway. So we use it so regularly, we get triggered by the same things, when your mother calls, you might get triggered, whatever it is, it goes down that motorway. Now positive mental fitness is about catching yourself at that junction. So instead of going down the motorway, you take a pause, and then you pick the dusty road off in the other direction, which is how you want to choose to react. So how your true essence how your true self wants to react. And you know, you catch yourself doing it, sometimes you think “I just bossed that I really did.” You know, I chose to react in a much more positive, holistic and adult way, you know, we have to be the adult with our children. And sometimes they just trigger us, they trigger our saboteurs, which are the voice, those negative voices in your head, and we just go off down that motorway before we’ve even thought about it. So this positive mental fitness course is a six week online programme, where you use the app, you meet with me a small number of mums. So it’s open to a maximum of six mums, you meet for half an hour each week, and you have videos which share all about positive mental fitness, and how you can build those muscles, which then sets you up for, you know, an ongoing sustenance of positive mental fitness, you can have access to the app for the whole 12 months from the day you download it. So you can continue to use the mindful meditations and continue to build your mental muscles. I guess for me, why would you want to do the course? It will help you to nip negativity in the bud, it will help you to stop shouting at your kids, it will help you to respond well when the shit hits the fan, which it always does, from time to time, it will strengthen the quality of your relationships both personally and professionally. It will build resilience, you know, so that you can deal with those challenges in a calm and focused way. And it really increases your self empathy. So, so often mums put themselves last, they put everybody else first and there’s nothing left for them. So there’s a whole module on looking at self empathy and how you, how you look after yourself, I guess, ment-, you know, mentally as well as as well as physically.

Kate Butcher
Fantastic.

Jackie Meek
And the next course starts just after half term. So 29th of October is the next course running, I’ve run five so far. So this will be my sixth course this year. So I’m getting fantastic feedback about it. You know, people are feeling less hassle, they’re enjoying their kids more, they’re being kinder to themselves. They’re feeling more in control, and they’re better at prioritising just, you know, some of the feedback that I’m getting it’s, it’s a really transformational course.

Kate Butcher
It sounds absolutely amazing. Yeah, it does sound wonderful. Gosh, so it’s starting again the week after halftime. So it’ll be from from when this episode is aired. It’ll be starting the following week. So yeah, that’s fantastic.

Jackie Meek
The videos get released each week for six videos get released on a Saturday, each week. So that’s why the start date is Saturday, the 29th of October, and then we would have a meeting each week subsequent to hearing the video.

Kate Butcher
Fantastic. That sounds absolutely wonderful. And the fact that it’s such a small group as well means that you can give that attention to each of the individuals who are running the programme with you.

Jackie Meek
Yeah, absolutely. So those that are on the programme will have accountability, they will be doing the same exercises, they were listening to the same video. So it’s all about looking as to how you’re doing your practice, whether it’s going well whether you’re struggling with it, whether you’re having a good day or not. So they have a WhatsApp group where they can plug in which they’re encouraged to plug into each day to share about how things are going, share their wins, share their challenges. So there’s lots of support around it as well. And it’s, you know, it’s a tried and tested course, hundreds of 1000s of people have done this course now. And it’s a real cutting edge of neuroscience positive psychology. You know, it’s this, is this is where it’s happening. And I think, you know, mindset for mums is one of the critical things, because you cannot run a business without a positive mindset. It’s physically and mentally not possible, because there’s so many ups and downs that you have to face. You know, even Kate and I this morning had challenges because I had technical challenges and we’ll work through those technical challenges, you never know what’s coming at you as a business owner, and you never know what’s coming at you as a mum.

Kate Butcher
Absolutely. Wow, there’s loads there. And at the time of recording, you still have some places available.

Jackie Meek
Yes, yep, there’s four places available at the moment for the 29th of October. And if you can’t make that date, then the next one will be starting after Christmas in the new year.

Kate Butcher
Well, I would definitely encourage anybody to go and at least check it out on on your, your website and look at the details of that, and and to contact you if they’re interested. Because yeah, it is fantastic. And by the time this episode goes out, hopefully you might still have some places left for anyone who is listening and who is interested. Gosh, that sounds amazing. Thank you for telling us about that. That’s a really inspiring programme again. So Jackie, can you tell us, as a mum in business, what would you think that the best bit of advice that you have been given is, since you started your business?

Jackie Meek
Yeah, I think, that’s always a good question. Because, you know, we’re picking up nuggets along the way, as business owners, you know, I’ve been in business for a while now. And I think the best piece of advice that I would like to share is to be honest with yourself, and to ask for help. And so by being honest with yourself, I think that’s all about how you manage yourself, and whether your business is working for you, or whether you’re working for your business, because it’s easy to get it wrong. So by being honest with yourself, you know, you have to say, am I enjoying this? Is this ticking my boxes? Does it fit well with family life, because if you’re not being honest with yourself, you can get into quite a lot of difficulty. You know, boundaries are quite hard to be kept when you’re a business owner and a mum. So, you know, by being honest with yourself, that helps you set boundaries as well. So it’s again, listening to your gut, listening to yourself, trusting yourself, you know, and also asking for help. So, so often, you can’t do everything yourself, it’s not possible. And sometimes, you’re not the best person to be doing that. So for example, my zone of genius is coaching. My zone of genius is not doing some of my admin, which is why Kate’s been helping me with my mailouts and my website, because that’s not my zone of genius. So it’s something about focusing your time on your zone of genius. So not being afraid to ask for help when you need it. And to not feel alone in your business, get talking to other people get, you know, networking, get building relationships, so that it’s not, it’s not isolating for you.

Kate Butcher
I totally agree. We had a conversation last week, didn’t we about difficult choices I’ve been making within my business, there were decisions I had to make to let some of my clients go to free up some space for other things I needed to do. And it was a really difficult decision to make it it was a decision I probably should have made six months ago. But sometimes it’s really hard to make those decisions. And absolutely, you’ve got to really stop, stop and take stock, haven’t you and as you say, be honest with yourself and make the decisions that are right for you. And yeah, I totally agree about the the networking and the asking for help. There’s so much support out there. And that’s exactly why I started Business Foundations for Mums as a side of my business, because we have our group on, which is an online support group. And we have the podcast so that people can listen to other mums in business who can support each other and listen to each other. And you can hear and relate to other people’s stories. So yeah, absolutely seeking help and, and finding those networks that can support you is really essential. There’s loads of them out there, there’s so many networks out there that can support you as a mum in business and people who can, as you say, outsourcing tasks that that you don’t enjoy or can’t do or find difficult or are taking up the time that you need to spend elsewhere. So, so key to business. Absolutely. Thank you for sharing those tips. And do you have a favourite business tool that you use at all in your business Jackie?

Jackie Meek
I think yeah, we’re using different tools all the time. And I think that’s, you know, you actually have to be brave to use those tools. So when something new comes up, or a better way of doing things, you have to be prepared to use it. I think one of my favourites is my, using GoCardless. So for all my regular payments, it is such a slick system, it’s very intuitive. I love the fact the money just comes into my account without me having to do anything, it’s easy for the end user as well as me. So I would I would definitely, definitely recommend that. And the other two things are just Canva and Calendly you know, technical, technical things, which again, I use regularly. Calendly for getting appointments booked in without having that whole telephone tag trying to speak to arrange a meeting and Canva again, very intuitive to be doing, you know, logos and memes and, you know, just nice photos for your social media. So that’s a really, you know, essential tool I couldn’t do without those three actually.

Kate Butcher
Yeah, yeah, likewise, I use, I use Calendly for some elements of my business, but certainly for, yeah, Canva all the time. I mean, it’s, it’s constantly in use. And at home, it gets hijacked by my children, for creating artist, I’ve actually set them up with a separate children’s account now, because they kept hijacking my Canva account. And I’d go in and find all sorts on there. You know, they’ve just created a pretty picture. But, but yes, it is fantastic and so useful for, it’s so intuitive, and so many different things you can use it for is becoming more and more exciting all the time what you can do on there, which is fantastic. GoCardless I’m really glad you’d said about how easy that was, because it’s something my accountants been trying to persuade me to do to use for a long time. And I’ve been resisting. I don’t really know why I don’t know what that resistance is. But yes, it’s something I do need to start, start doing and using. And I think, as you say, it makes it easier for the clients as well as for yourself a lot of the time.

Jackie Meek
Yeah, go for it. You just have to really set an intention to do those brave things. Sometimes we’re not in the mood to do brave things. But you have to get to a point where you roll up the sleeves and you think right, today, I’m going to do it, a bit like a tax return isn’t it, once you actually get to it? It’s not too bad. It’s the whole lead up to it. But-

Kate Butcher
Yes, yes, I mean, tax returns, everyone resists the tax returns, don’t they, and then I have to say, even though bookkeeping, and that side of things is my favourite stuff to do for my clients, I do still resist doing my own. And I would always leave it to the last minute until I got a wonderful accountant, and there we go outsourcing again, my accountant now does my tax returns, she just has to chase me to make sure everything’s there that she needs to do, and if it is, it just it’s done almost as soon as the tax year is over. It’s fantastic. So yeah, I definitely, if you don’t like a tax return, definitely recommend finding an accountant that will do it for you. Because it’s, it’s fantastic. Wonderful. Thank you, Jackie. And do you have a favourite book recommendation for other mums in business?

Jackie Meek
Yes, absolutely. I’ve got, I’ve got a couple of favourites. The first is “Playing Big” by Tara Mohr. She is a really inspiring woman who does lots for empowering women to stand up to be heard, and to kind of step into their brave, really, so the books called “Playing Big”, but it’s not about doing more. It’s about doing what is most important to you. And I’ve just got a short quote from her, which really summarises what she talks about. It says “playing big, doesn’t come from working more, pushing harder or finding confidence. It comes from listening to the most powerful and secure part of you, not the voice of self doubt.” And again, that fits really into the positive mental fitness about finding your true essence. And what, what is she saying? You know, what, what does your wise elder self say about the situation that you’re focusing on now that you’re you’re worried about what would she say? And so it’s tapping into that, that essence that is you that is there and just needs to be heard, but they don’t speak as loudly as those saboteurs that often get in the way. And the other book I really like is “Untamed” by Glennon Doyle. Again, really about, similar isn’t it, true essence, stepping into the, stepping into your role as a wife, as a mum, and as your true self and, and really bringing out the best in you. So I’d recommend both of those, they’re not particularly business focused, but as a business owner, they truly are because they’re about you. They’re about you.

Kate Butcher
I absolutely agree. Both books that I loved, actually, Tara Mohr’s book, “Playing Big” was the first book that I listened to when I got my audible subscription and actually talking about it with you now is making me think I want to go back and re listen and to anyone who does read the book or listen to the book. I don’t know whether you’ve found the same Jackie but I would say to anyone who does go and and have a listen or have a read, definitely persist with it. I found the first chapter or two really slow going and I was thinking about putting it down and then it got really good. And I went “oh I’m really glad I persisted with it.” Yeah, it was a really, actually quite a life changing book for me. I listened to it once and then I went back and listened to it a second time and I actually stopped and did all of the journaling exercises that she recommends at the end of each chapter. And a couple of those had a really big impact on me, really really good, and equally if you listened to it on an audio book she’s, you talked about the older wise woman, the older wise version of you, she she but she talks you through her meditation to go and meet and have a meeting with this woman and it’s it’s a really powerful exercise, really really powerful. Yeah, fantastic book thank you for that recommendation. And likewise I really enjoyed “Untamed” by by Glennon Doyle, I thought her analogy at the beginning with, I can’t remember which which big cat it was but, it was it was a cheetah or leopard or something was it cheetah wasn’t, at the beginning, the analogy when you very first start the book of this cheetah that’s just padding up and down and has been tamed. And and how she decided that she wanted to be untamed and really took some action to make that happen for her. So yeah, really fantastic book.

Jackie Meek
The books about the cheetah being caged, doesn’t she? And that’s how it can feel sometimes that, that we’re caged by the shoulds that have been put upon us in the past. And, you know, she says that the cheetah was born to be out in the savanna, you know, and out there. And and that’s where we should be, you know, we can be, often it’s just ourselves that are getting in the way and our minds that are tripping us up.

Kate Butcher
Yeah.

Jackie Meek
And keeping us in our cages.

Kate Butcher
Yeah. Again, it’s a really empowering book, isn’t it? Particularly sort of as as a woman reading that book? It’s a really, really empowering book, so.

Jackie Meek
And particularly for a mum, I think it’s particularly pertinent.

Kate Butcher
Yeah, it’s very relatable. I think as a mum, isn’t it? She’s, she’s a mum herself. And she talks about so many things that I found very relatable. And I kind of, yeah, I did find it a very valuable read as well. So yeah, thank you for those two recommendations. They’re fantastic. Thank you very much, Jackie. So just before we wind up, could you tell us a little bit about how people can find you, if they’re interested in coming to join your mailing list that we’ve talked about, if they’re interested in coming to find out a bit more about working with you in any way, or particularly about your positive mental fitness programme that you’ve got coming up within the next week, from when this goes out? Tell us a little bit about how people can find out more.

Jackie Meek
Yeah. So my business is Future Path Life Coaching, so if you Google that you will come across my website. And then if you go onto positive mental fitness, ways to work with me, you will find out more about the positive mental fitness programme, the six week boot camps, which starts on the 29th of October, if you want to find me on LinkedIn, just search under Jackie Meek, and you’ll find me there. And I’m on Facebook too Future Path Life Coaching and I’ll be posting there. So if you’re interested in joining my mailing list or being part of the positive mental fitness programme, then just complete the contact me page on my website, and then we can set up a 15 minute chat, so that we can talk about how we might best work together and a bit more about the positive mental fitness programme to check that, you know, right for you at this time, and that you’re you know, you’ve got the right goals that you want to, to be on the programme. It’s a big commitment. You know, there’s a lot going on there. But this is a boot camp where you need to work hard so that you can have something that’s sustainable at the end of the six weeks. So I look forward to hearing from you. I’d love to have a chat. If you’re interested in working with me. That would be great.

Kate Butcher
Thank you very much, Jackie. That sounds wonderful. Thank you very much for your time today. It’s been absolutely lovely chatting to you and speaking to you in a different context to the work that we’ve been doing together. So it’s really nice to have those conversations and hear, hear some things I didn’t know about you and your business. So thank you very much.

Jackie Meek
Thank you for inviting me. It’s been a pleasure.

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